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Being a humanist means trying to behave decently

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without expectation of rewards or punishment

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after you are dead. ~ Kurt Vonnegut-2007

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1958

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All right, let's move to our social relationships,

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in our feelings toward our neighbors, toward our friends.

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What's happening to man in those spheres?

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In the first place, I would say our social relationships are relatively shallow.

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We are actually afraid to be intimate with people,

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many people even with their wives and husbands.

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Are we humanized yet?

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Somebody said "Jacque, don't you believe in love?"

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Everybody uses that word.

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So I ask most people "Do you like everything you've ever done in life?"

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The answer is "No". Sometimes you love yourself,

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sometimes more, sometimes less, sometimes "What a dumb thing I did!"

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You understand? Love is a fluctuating thing; it's not fixed.

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Know thyself. ~ Plato

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There is only one moral as there is only one geometry. ~ Voltaire

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You mentioned what we think about, or what we talk about anyway, on Sundays.

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What about man in relationship to his religion?

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I think here we find the same phenomenon.

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We have a religious renaissance today in America, as many people say.

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I would say this religious renaissance, 90 percent of it, is the greatest danger

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true religious experience has ever been confronted with. - Why?

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Because what is attempted in this so-called religious renaissance

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is kind of a mixture

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between Dale Carnegie "How to win friends and be successful"

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and the norms of the Bible, of the Old and New Testament,

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and in a kind of clever and sometimes not so clever way.

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People try to combine the two.

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That is actually very much the contrary of the spirit of our true religious tradition.

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Normalization has become one of the great instruments of power. ~ Michel Foucault

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Who's this guy with the white collar that says "I now pronounce you man and wife"?

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Where the hell did he come from?

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I fear the man of a single book. ~ Thomas Aquinas

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In the Bible it says "Two people joined by love

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cannot be put asunder by anyone."

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This guy doesn't bring people together. He orders you together!

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And real love is not forced.

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Real love is you being with the person you want to be with.

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It's hard for people to understand, but real love means

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that you've got hands;

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they're called extensional devices.

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You can pick up a bottle, turn it around, look at it.

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A dog can't do that.

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So he cocks his head this way and the other way

48
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when he sees something strange.

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So, real love means extensionality.

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The human body is the best picture of the human soul. ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein

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"I hope my boyfriend loves me."

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That doesn't do anything to make him loving.

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It's your conduct and his values that determine who he picks.

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Nature never deceives us, it is we who deceive ourselves. ~ Jean Jacques Rousseau

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He thinks he picks the girl of his dreams,

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but he's been watching movies, reading novels, so he goes toward girls

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that look like what he believes is the right person.

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Everybody experiences far more than he understands.

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Yet it is experience, rather than understanding,

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that influences behavior. ~ Marshall McLuhan

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If they show a person with a crooked nose, mean, always mean,

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and the good-looking guy beats him up, see,

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the girls look for the good-looking guy.

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But that good-looking guy becomes a monster if she hates him.

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That face is no longer pleasant.

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The happenings of nature are like rolling dice,

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rather than like revolving stars.

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They are controlled by probability laws, not by causality,

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and the scientist resembles a gambler more than a prophet.

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He can tell you only his best posits.

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He never knows beforehand whether they will come true.

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He is a better gambler though than the man at the green table,

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because his statistical methods are superior. ~ Hans Reichenbach

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Now, if you fall in love at sixteen,

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and then you fall in love again at thirty, it's different

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than the kind of love you felt when you fell in love at sixteen.

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At forty, you have a very different picture of what you want.

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So, love is not a constant.

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The trouble with it is in the future, now you can't help this,

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you will love anybody you meet.

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If you married a guy because he has seven qualities you love,

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and then you meet another guy with forty qualities you love,

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you're going to love that person.

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You're going to get confused, "Do I really love my husband, or don't I?"

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Sometimes you do; sometimes you don't.

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There's nothing wrong with them; they're reflecting their culture.

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Do you understand what I'm saying?

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There's nothing wrong with anybody. I'm trying to tell you something else.

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We never make a mistake in our lives.

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When you don't know enough about human behavior,

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you go out with the wrong people, and they hurt you. That's not a mistake.

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You're using the best tools you have.

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When you fall in love with the wrong girl

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or you fall in love with the wrong guy,

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your value systems become updated,

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or you become bitter, say "I'm never getting married"

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depending on your experience.

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So, in the future you will love anyone that's loveable.

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You understand what I'm saying? There's not a thing you can do about it.

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While luxury and profaneness have been increasing on one hand,

101
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on the other, benevolence and compassion

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toward all forms of human woe have increased in a manner not known before,

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from the earliest ages of the world. ~ John Wesley

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So, if you really learn what the word 'love' means,

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it means to be extensional to other people,

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to help, be friendly to other nations.

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If they lack resources, help them. Help them develop their resources.

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But if you keep things to yourself, you'll build hatred.

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I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards. ~ Abraham Lincoln